Definitions of Technology

General Definition of Technology: Shiny stuff, most of which you can’t afford or wouldn’t buy owing to a lacking primary prerequisite – literacy.

Corporate Definition of Technology: Things that are imported.

Engineer’s Definition of Technology: An array of various Engineering disciplines implemented over blueprints of real-world solutions or conceptual drafts blah blah blah blah blah blah, aaaah screw it! I still don’t have a job!

Tech-blogger’s/Enthusiast’s Definition of Technology: iPhone

Note: Often followed by phrases/acronyms the likes of “It blew me away!” , “FTW!” or “It’s divine!”

Funniest Starcraft II Quotes

iPistol (Advanced Targetting 3.0): Take your shot at life.

Yo, ‘Semite’ Sam!

Who’d have thought the trigger-happy bunny-killer midget from Looney Toons could have a deeper meaning to his name?

Yosemite means literally “those who kill”.

[http://www.yosemite.ca.us/library/origin_of_word_yosemite.html]

Yeah, that sounds like our gun-wielding bandit alright. But its never that simple, is it?

Behind every complex ambiguity, there is an alternate meaning or hidden agenda. Behind every hidden agenda, there is a conspiracy theory (oh, there’s always a conspiracy theory).

And behind every conspiracy theory, there is a jew (“Oh no he di’int!”).

That’s just the way it is.

Look closely at the picture above – eyes burning with the intent to kill, guns stained with the blood of a thousand innocent (wabbits), pockets filled with ripe cash and last but not the least, an overly prominent nose. If that’s not a clear sign then what is?

Clearly, the ‘Semite’ in Sam’s name refers to his Jewish descent and the ‘Yo’ is probably a mere shout out. (“Yo, ‘Semite’ Sam! Whatsup Doc?” “I hates rabbits!”)

That’s right, he’s probably “Yosemite Sam! The rootin’-ist tootin’-ist roughest toughest riproarin’-ist hombre to ever cross the Rio Gran-de!” and ‘Semite’ Sam, Mossad agent by night.

Freedom of Speech: The Best Excuse

Freedom of Speech

The best excuse so far that the world (mainly comedians and internet trolls) has come up with to denounce and disgrace the values, cultures, traditions, morals and beliefs of small groups/factions to entire civilizations.

The term has been deemed most effective in making even the worst of worldwide racist agendas sound noble.

‘Freedom of Speech’ is also, by a certain school of thought, believed to be the cornerstone of yet another rapidly growing cult. This swift growth can be explained by a widely known empirical inference – people, in general, would prefer not being held accountable for their actions much less their words.

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Appalling, isn’t it? Appalling but true.

Back in the ‘good old days’ only men with money and power had the right to free speech. If anyone else so much as dared to challenge their beliefs, there were severe consequences – like when the Catholic Church snuffed people for making fun of their diagram of the Solar System. Back then, there was no concept of divided sovereignty.

Things have changed. Nowadays, every racist, comedian, racist-comedian, damned internet troll and nut with a hole under his nose has access to the right to free speech.

That’s right. You don’t need to be qualified, respected or recognized in a certain field or subject to be allowed to criticize it publicly. You don’t even have to be of age. Which essentially means that even a five-year-old has the right to express his views in the National Assembly (“Mommy tells me you’re a  very bad man, Mr. Zardari”). Or, you know, the Vatican (“Mr. Benedict, what’s a pedophile?”).

“My name is Naan and I am not a Roti”

The above quote is a work of genius. So obviously I have nothing to do with its creation. The credit goes to a friend of mine – let’s call him Ganja – who is quite gifted in the art of doing people (doing impressions of people, that is) and cracking corny jokes.

The phrase, as you probably might have guessed by now, is a corny parody of of the Indian movie dialog, “My name is Khan and I am not a terrorist” from the movie “My name is Khan”.

Behold.

"My name is Naan and I am not a roti!"

Ganja has truly outdone himself this time.

Base-turd: A new word

WARNING: Toilet Humor

Base-turd:

The lump of crap that slowly but surely sinks to the bottom of the toilet.

A slang word rarely used to demean another individual.

Being an almost-homonym to the word “bastard”, it is more suitable for use in written English.

Glen: “That guy is the lowest of the lowly!”
Mark: “Yeah, he’s a real baseturd!”

(Sent for review on Urban Dictionary)

[Definition of this epiterm was extracted from the EpiFunny Dictionary – Epictionary]