Definitions of Technology

General Definition of Technology: Shiny stuff, most of which you can’t afford or wouldn’t buy owing to a lacking primary prerequisite – literacy.

Corporate Definition of Technology: Things that are imported.

Engineer’s Definition of Technology: An array of various Engineering disciplines implemented over blueprints of real-world solutions or conceptual drafts blah blah blah blah blah blah, aaaah screw it! I still don’t have a job!

Tech-blogger’s/Enthusiast’s Definition of Technology: iPhone

Note: Often followed by phrases/acronyms the likes of “It blew me away!” , “FTW!” or “It’s divine!”

Lost Scripts: The Original iPhone Advertisement

“If you don’t have an iPhone, well, you don’t have an iPhone. Also, if you aren’t sitting, you’re probably standing, lying down, running or flying through the air courtesy of a nuclear-powered jet pack. Hence, you must buy an iPhone.

Don’t you see?

The logic is undeniable. You absolutely must buy one. It’s cool (because it’s expensive) and it’s simple (read: doofus-friendly) because there’s virtually no flexibility in the OS! It’s the Bieber of the technology world, a bimbo among smartphones.

You see, we work to provide a severely constipated user experience. Continue reading

Technological Racism: Black vs White iPhone 4

It doesn’t matter if you’re black or white (unless you’re black).

Black vs White iPhone 4

Dear Diary in LOLspeak 2

Deer Die-ry,

What’s above? Heh. You can nut answered me, can you? You are but an unliving thing. You are so stoop-ed.  Heh. I like unsulting peeple, even if they really aren’t people. But sometime I get my ace kicked trying to do so.

I went to KFC today to chick out their checken. It was very very yummy in my tummy. Sow when I went to counter to gut a second serving, I told the KFC weighters how I felt about the foods.

“I’m licking it!” I said. It was an complements. But for some treason, they awl started stairing at me. And like I sayed in my last entry, I DOESN’T LIKES TO BE FORKING STARED AT! Gut it? Continue reading

Dear Diary in LOLspeak – The Worst Post Ever (EVAR!)

Deer Dairy,

To day, on the early early morning, I was circles around nearby markeet in my car at night. I was trying to dig some chicks. You no, chicking out some hens, trying to get it on with sum gals, peek up some beeches and all that cap. I am so cool and o-some, woot!

But at the same time, I am also a gentlepersonmans. I doesn’t like when I has have been looked upon hardly by other persons.

Its vary annoyingful. Jes, sametimes some peoples stair at the me. I doesn’t overstand why? May bee they are in-pressed by my books. I mean looks. Haha. I was only jokering.

You see, it’s ogay for me to chick out chicks. Why? Because isky is high. Haha. I was jokering. Again. Seriously dough, its ogay for me to stair at chicks because if they did nut want me to, they wood tell me. Continue reading

Funniest Mock Movie Poster Ever (EVAR!)

This is why you should go to Hot Spot.

Punjabi Loin

“DIFFRENT BARGAR (Kind of)” – Restaurant FAIL

So the local McDonald’s branch was pwned recently. That’s right, the city has lost one of its favorite eat-and-meet (and poondi) places. The location was in conflict with certain laws, they say. But was that the only reason? Nothing is ever that simple. Almost every large-scale occurrence has a conspiracy behind it, working the gears of a grand covert scheme.

And despite what a certain popular stereotype may imply, not every conspiracy has a Jew behind it.

My hunch is that the food-giant has been driven out of business (bitch-slapped) by a new bad-ass in town – A harmless little snack bar hidden in a neglected part of the capital city that has, unknown to many, taken the city by storm. I can see it now – Ronald McDonald running with his tail between his legs.

Behold – the shop that has (literally) redefined the words “innovation” and “burger”.

It has also reached a new level of hilarity in LOLspeak (Grammatically ridiculous English). And you thought “I Can Has CheezBurger” was pushing the envelope.

Restaurant FAIL - Diffrent Bargar Kind of

Video Games Graffiti 3 – Fallout 3

You find these quirky posters and sign boards everywhere in the magnanimous virtual world of Fallout 3. Owing to the size of the world, it’s quite easy to miss these. But if you stop to look away from flying heads and shiny inventory items once in a while (I know its hard), you’ll find that the developers have quite a sense of humor.

Click the screenshots to enlarge

Fallout 3 - Crap

You don't say!

Continue reading

Eid Mubarak Everyone!

Devil Eats Paratha

The future of 4th-Grade English Grammar

iPhone, Ufone, Vfone - Grammatical Person

*Ufone and PTCL Vfone are Pakistani cellular/telecom service providers