Dear Diary in LOLspeak 2

Deer Die-ry,

What’s above? Heh. You can nut answered me, can you? You are but an unliving thing. You are so stoop-ed.  Heh. I like unsulting peeple, even if they really aren’t people. But sometime I get my ace kicked trying to do so.

I went to KFC today to chick out their checken. It was very very yummy in my tummy. Sow when I went to counter to gut a second serving, I told the KFC weighters how I felt about the foods.

“I’m licking it!” I said. It was an complements. But for some treason, they awl started stairing at me. And like I sayed in my last entry, I DOESN’T LIKES TO BE FORKING STARED AT! Gut it?

Dear Diary in LOLspeak – The Worst Post Ever (EVAR!)

Deer Dairy,

To day, on the early early morning, I was circles around nearby markeet in my car at night. I was trying to dig some chicks. You no, chicking out some hens, trying to get it on with sum gals, peek up some beeches and all that cap. I am so cool and o-some, woot!

But at the same time, I am also a gentlepersonmans. I doesn’t like when I has have been looked upon hardly by other persons.

Its vary annoyingful. Jes, sametimes some peoples stair at the me. I doesn’t overstand why? May bee they are in-pressed by my books. I mean looks. Haha. I was only jokering.

You see, it’s ogay for me to chick out chicks. Why? Because isky is high. Haha. I was jokering. Again. Seriously dough, its ogay for me to stair at chicks because if they did nut want me to, they wood tell me.

“DIFFRENT BARGAR (Kind of)” – Restaurant FAIL

So the local McDonald’s branch was pwned recently. That’s right, the city has lost one of its favorite eat-and-meet (and poondi) places. The location was in conflict with certain laws, they say. But was that the only reason? Nothing is ever that simple. Almost every large-scale occurrence has a conspiracy behind it, working the gears of a grand covert scheme.

And despite what a certain popular stereotype may imply, not every conspiracy has a Jew behind it.

My hunch is that the food-giant has been driven out of business (bitch-slapped) by a new bad-ass in town – A harmless little snack bar hidden in a neglected part of the capital city that has, unknown to many, taken the city by storm. I can see it now – Ronald McDonald running with his tail between his legs.

Behold – the shop that has (literally) redefined the words “innovation” and “burger”.

It has also reached a new level of hilarity in LOLspeak (Grammatically ridiculous English). And you thought “I Can Has CheezBurger” was pushing the envelope.