Prince of Persia: ‘Waste’ of Time

Prince of Persia - A 'Waste' of Time

Prince of Persia - A 'Waste' of Time

I was so damn excited when I heard they were making a movie on Ubisoft’s Prince of Persia trilogy, even more so when the movie was actually released. I should’ve trusted my instinct on this one – movies based on games usually turn out lame.

Half-way through the movie, my enthusiasm had dug a grave for itself and jumped in. The movie was, to say the least, an hour and 45 minutes long torture session (a slow-mo enema with the dagger of time) for a POP series fan.

First of all, the plot was relatively weak and way too obvious, and not just for those who’ve played the game. Excessive hints and frequent, prolonged explanations made the script sound as if inspired by that of an orthodox Japanese anime or worse – Sesame Street.

Furthermore, the film didn’t feel – as very adequately put by the fellows at IGN – original. Throughout the movie, I was constantly reminded of The Mummy and Sinbad, and during my least favorite parts – Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.

The most disappointing of all inadequacies was the character profile. The focus often seemed to deviate from the main character and the plot. At the end of the movie, (SPOILER ALERT) the Prince teams up with a couple of additional (unnecessary) characters, one of which is a Habshi (black man) knife-thrower who, predictably, dies in the end – they always do. Like I said, the plot was very conventional.

Jake Gyllenhaal, as it turns out, wasn’t a bad choice for the role of the Prince. The Princess, on the other hand, looked more like a Spanish maid. Moreover, her personality changes dramatically half-way through the movie. For the first half, she’s this headstrong, ruthless, and cunning fem fatal who crosses swords with the Prince himself. As soon as the Prince shows her some love, however, she turns into the damsel in distress, all weak and whiny, who is (SPOILER ALERT) easily overpowered by the 70-or-so-year old and shriveled villain-boss.

Fighting sequences were scarce, rushed and extremely unoriginal. Not once during the 1 hour and 45 minutes of uber-lameness did I find a moment worthy of being categorized as memorable. All in all, the movie was a little below average. Its name is probably the only reason it’s making so much money.

I hope they make a sequel based on the Warrior Within plot. After 52.4 Million and climbing, they owe us fans that much.

And I hope these Disney-hired screenwriters have got nothing to do with the upcoming Warcraft movie. They’d probably turn it into another magical love story (Prince Arthas and Frostmourne join hands in unholy matrimony). Heck, they could even turn God of War into a high-school musical.

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About Sameed Khan


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