Ready! iSteady! Apple! Go!

After months, nay years of research, I think it is finally time to reveal unto the world, the truth behind the origin of the names given to Apple’s products.

Brace yourselves, for the truth is often hard to absorb.

Haven’t you ever wondered why they add that small-case ‘i’ before every product’s name? What does it mean? Is it a symbolic reference? Short for ‘internet’? ‘Interactive’?

It doesn’t mean anything, its not symbolic and it is definitely not short for ‘internet’ or ‘interactive’.

It’s origin is purely Pakistani.

It’s true. Don’t stare at the screen like that. I warned you about the truth. Don’t do that.  Staring harder won’t make it go away.

Indeed, Apple stole what is known to be the trademark of English speech in the south of Pakistan (most noticeable in the city of Karachi) and used it as a prefix in each and everyone of its product names.

A vast majority of Urdu-speaking people in Pakistan add an almost unnoticeable ‘i’ before words of the English language that start with the letter ‘s’ followed by a letter that requires the tongue to be moved or lips to be puckered.

The phenomenon sounds complicated only because it is hard to explain. Let’s just say, these people find it hard to shift quickly from an ‘s’ to a ‘t’ the same way a newbie guitarist finds it hard to do a quick shift between chords. So they add another syllable to the word, turning the ‘s’ into an ‘is’.

For example, the word ‘start’ is pronounced ‘is-tart’, ‘stop’ is ‘istop’, ‘steady’ is ‘isteady’ and so on. Following is an example action movie dialog in i-prefixing English.

“You isneaky isnitch! If you don’t istart ispitting out the truth right now, I will islowly iskin you alive with my islick istainless isteel knife! Do you here me? You ispineless coward! If I istart, I will not istop till you are a isticky bloody istain on the istone foor! You indes – ispicab – picable -! You fool! “

So you see, Apple’s ‘i’ trademark is not completely original. However, they do deserve a little credit for the idea (or should i say iDea?).

There you have it. The truth revealed. If you don’t believe me then I must say you’re an idiot (iDiot).

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About Sameed Khan


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