Video Games Graffiti – Portal

Portal - The Cake is a Lie - EpiFunnyDead Man’s Graffiti:

So I was sifting through my PC-games’ screenshots folder the other day and found some pretty interesting shots in my collection.

There is a trend that has been growing in newer games that encourages gamers to stop and look around within the virtual environment. One very popular form of this tactic is what you can call the “Dead Man’s Graffiti”. More common to the First Person Shooter and survival horror genre, this trend urges even the most hardcore of gamers to do something that they seldom do – read – even if it’s a dying virtual man’s final message, written in his own virtual blood on a virtual wall. If you ask me, it’s the best thing that has happened to PC games since the Unreal and Half-life engines.

Portal and the DMG:

Speaking of the Half-life engine – following is a screenshot I took while playing Portal (which was developed using the Half-life 2 engine and is, in my opinion, the most entertaining puzzle-oriented game ever). During the entire game, an AI with a feminine monotone of a voice guides you through various obstacles, hinting almost fondly at each step along the way, that success would be impossible and death, inevitable.

AI (Shortly before the following screenshot was taken): [*Spoiler Alert*]

“As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you. When the testing is over, you will be… Missed.”

“The experiment is nearing its conclusion. The Enrichment Center is required to remind you that you will be baked, and then there will be cake.”

“Welcome to the final test. When you are done, you will drop the device in the Equipment Recovery Annex. Enrichment Center regulations require both hands to be empty before any cake-“

“What are you doing? Stop it! I-i-i-i-i-… Weeee are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you. We are very very happy for your success. We are throwing a party in honor of your tremendous success. Place the device on the ground, then lie on your stomach with your arms at your sides. A party associate will arrive shortly to collect you for your party. Make no further attempt to leave the testing area. Assume the ‘Party Escort Submission Position’ or you will miss the party.” (Hahahahahahaha!)

“Okay, the test is over now. You win! Go back to the recovery annex for your cake.”

“Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they cut it anyway. There is still some left, if you hurry back.”

“I’m not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you.”

“I’m going to kill you, and all the cake is gone.”

Portal - The Cake is a Lie - EpiFunny

"The cake is a lie". Cracks me up.

“Didn’t we have some fun, though? Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and i said ‘Goodbye’ and you were like ‘NNOO WWAAYY”, and then I was all “We pretended we were going to murder you”, that was great.”

Kudos to whoever wrote the script for the game. You can read the complete script here: .


About Sameed Khan

2 responses to “Video Games Graffiti – Portal

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: