A-LEVELS: BORN TO BE CHAKKA

“With great educational grooming comes great GAIETY”

An empirical statement: Individuals having done A-levels at higher secondary level are usually found to have exceedingly colossal heads.

It is a fairly common observation that they seem to consider themselves several levels above in intellect than everyone else, which includes their own kin.

So the possibility of a mutual sense of community being the cause of their proverbial pompousness is bare minimum- which is in fact what governs most if not all actions of the armed forces communities.
Almost every individual in the A-levels community consistently reflects his false sense of pride in a way of his own. Most seem to be under the false pretense that they are unique. Consciously or unconsciously, they might even change their points of view altogether during a heated discussion or read a 2000 page unheard-of book on Quantum Mechanics to prove their inimitability.

Even with a few negligible accomplishments to prove their worth, they consider their talents wasted in their current group or field.

However, arrogance is merely the tip of the iceberg. Another trait most common in this community is delusion. While being a living definition of nerdrositifulness, some still desperately try to attain the ‘bad-ass’ label through extensive use of abusive language and kinky black-American lingo. Others simply think they were ‘born to be wild’ with four-eyes, an Advanced Physics book in hand and a very gay sense of humor. “If you don’t like who you are, just be someone else”. Apparently, they don’t and one can’t blame them.

Where the A-levels community is concerned, sense of humor isn’t the only attribute deeply infected with ‘queerness’. For most, only the term “Queerness Incarnate” or “Magnanimous Q” would be sufficient to compliment their immeasurable ‘homo-geneity’. A majority (of males) within said community suffers from this infection. It is hypothesized that it is the consequence of watching such shows as ‘American Idol’, ‘You think you can dance’ and ‘Gossip Girls’, movies like ‘Twilight’ and ‘Freaky Friday’, listening to songs the likes of ‘Your beautiful – James Blunt’ and hanging too much around females.

It is for this very reason that this community of individuals has rightfully been named “The Gay-Levels Homo-sapiens”. The local-lingo equivalent of which would be “Salay Chakkay”.

However, the queer folk in this community seem to be aware of their ailment as they try desperately to rectify it by following popular sports such as football and tennis and even take a shot at playing only to look like a bunch of girls, rabidly swinging rackets and kicking awkwardly with little or no idea about technique and a degree-zero game-sense. They constantly remind people of their love for the sports by discussing technicalities or singling out a professional player as their all-time idol only to sound gay again.

And on top of it all, they are usually under the illusion that they are damn good players. In fact, almost all from this community deem themselves to be all-rounders. God have mercy on their souls.

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About Sameed Khan


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